Tuesday, April 13, 2010

The Vacation Dance

Do you know anyone who resists vacations?  Anyone relatively sane without paralyzing phobias who nevertheless comes up with excuses NOT to go on vacation?  Anyone who is always ultimately convinced to take a vacation; then has a good time; but who later is just as resistant to the idea of the next vacation?  I do.  I live with him.  I married him.

And I love him dearly despite the fact that we always have to perform the ritual of the vacation negotiation, roughly every 12 to 24 months.  It's a lot like a dance (but not as fun).  We each have steps and we always follow them.  

Step One: I broach the subject
Me: "I think we could use a little vacation."
Him: Silence.
Me: "Just a few days.  Nothing too crazy.  How about [insert destination]?"
Him: Silence or a shrug.
Me: "I'm going to do a little research...."

Step II: I do research

Step III: I propose options and begin my campaign
Me: "About that vacation we talked about.  How about ...[insert destination followed by my pitch highlighting how little it will cost, how easy it will be to get there, and how quickly we will be home]"
Him: [insert objections and reasons not to go at all or not to go to the proposed destination.]
Me: " I'm going to do a little more research...."

Step IV: See steps II and III and repeat until all involved are at wits' end.

Step V: I say I'm going with or without him.

Step VI: He agrees to join me.

I foolishly thought that this time would be different.  I thought we'd do another kind of dance.  I pictured moving from Step I  to VI, with some enthusiastic brainstorming in between about where we could go that was worthy of this special time in our lives.  Really.  When will there be an occasion, and an opportunity more perfect than this July for taking a vacation?  We will have these many long years of hard work behind us and a huge accomplishment to celebrate.  We both have the whole month of July off from work.  I have lots of frequent flyer miles and he just got a bonus.  What could he possibly object to?

Answer: All the usual stuff.  We danced the vacation dance.  Again.  We followed all the painful steps and the outcome was the same but it was no fun to get there.  I will try to focus on the exciting conclusion to our negotiation, the final step in our ridiculously redundant vacation dance.  He agreed to come and I know he will  thank me for dragging him to ...............Napa!!!!!! 

This place is our favorite lodging recommendation so far: www.napacottages.com.  Other suggestions of places to stay, winery tours to catch, restaurants to try (I'm already saving my pennies for The French Laundry), and excursions to make are welcome.  We want to drive Coastal highway and maybe hike or otherwise take in the dramatic beauty of the Pacific Coast as much as we want to drink great wine and get stupid.   


  1. Highly recommend visiting Grgich Wineries (your uncle and I call it "The Boys' Club") and sample their Fume Blanc and Cabernet. You won't regret it. Another wonderful out of the way place is Stony Hill Vineyard. Very quaint and like stepping back in time.

    By the time you're done, you'll both laugh about the Vacation Step Process :-)

  2. I second that winery. I've never been there but I'm a fan of the end product.

  3. You have to go to Hess and visit the art gallery there and drink their yummy wine. Did you read all the briefing docs yet?