Sunday, January 9, 2011

Abundance Abounds and Confounds

I galloped into last year, with Christmas-morning eagerness to experience all the change in store for me and my family in 2010.  I launched this blog so that I could memorialize what I knew would be an important year.

This January has been different so far.  It's been more tranquil because so much change - new town, new house, new jobs, new school, new friends, and so on - is behind us.  We are simply happy and healthy this year and counting our blessings.  At the same time, I feel a little like a kid feels the day after Christmas.  There was so much build-up to Deano's graduation and our move, then so much frenzy, excitement, and celebration.  Now there's the day-after question: what now?

So much pleasure has come to us through our shared quest.  We loved the hard work and the dreaming we did about where we would go after residency and how it would be.  We also savored the precious time we worked hard to find for each other and our children.  Time is more abundant these days and we are a less limited resource for each other and our kids.  We are usually together which is wonderful and, I am admitting here, confusingly stressful sometimes because I find my self wondering at the end of a day filled with togetherness why I didn't enjoy it like I used to and feeling terribly guilty about it.  

A new challenge, which it is my resolution to address, is how to rediscover the intensity that I used to bring to family time when all the time is family time.

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