Thursday, February 10, 2011

Morning Madness

What is it about having to arrive someplace at a specific time that makes my children lose their minds?  They have to go to school five days a week and, not counting snow delays, the arrival time and our routine are the same every day.  No surprises.  So why, why, why does it have to be so hard sometimes?  Like this morning. 

 This morning was a doozy.  At T-minus 5 minutes to departure for school, GJ gave Johnny a hard time for saying he didn't want to play remote control cars after school.  GJ had claimed for himself the only battery between the two cars so Johnny said, "I don't want to just sit there and watch you.  You'll be the only one wif a workin' car."  To this GJ says, as if Johnny should enjoy watching GJ play, "Oh my gosh, Johnny!"  And then Johnny stuck out his tongue.  And then GJ glared at Johnny.  And then Johnny yelled, "Why do you have to look at me like that?"  And then GJ huffed and stomped off.  And then Johnny started whining and moaning. And no one had their boots or coat on.  I re-issue the orders, "boots, coats, backpacks, car, GO" and check on Sofia.

It is now T-minus 3 minutes and I find Sofia in front of the shoe cubbies whistling (a new trick that she is very proud of) and picking her nose.  She is literally in there knuckle-deep.  Her shoes are cuddling next to her.  Her coat is still on the hook.  Her backpack is hanging open and her lunchbox is still on the counter. But at least she isn't fighting with anyone.  Oh yeah, and she still has a rat's nest on the back of her head that I need at least one minute to hide with a high ponytail!

Somehow I get all three kids out the door to the driveway (one step closer to the car) and pour myself my first cup of morning coffee.  I always crave my coffee but today I am desperate for it.  But I tip the pot and pour a cup of  hot clear water.  "NO!!!!"  The coffee machine grinder clogged and there's no time to try again.  

Now I'm just as crabby as the three kids.  In the car, the boy's skirmish continues so I sternly tell them that they will each owe me 25 cents for every unkind word I hear in this car.  We ride in total silence to school.

What's the lesson here?  You tell me.  I didn't have any coffee this morning.


  1. I hope I'm not insulting you when I say there is a humor in your writing that reminds me of Erma Bombeck. I'm still laughing.

  2. Uh...insulted? Are you kidding. Call me flattered. Very flattered.